What Advice Do We Have For A First-Year Retiree? Relax.
By Erica and Karen
Many people retire at the end of the year. Did you? Are you now a bit uncertain about what’s next? Where you are going? How you will find a community? Will you find identity and purpose?
We realized after we retired that we were on a journey that would take a while and had no obvious terminus. We went through many stages during that first year or so:
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The terrified stage—starting before and ending months after the actual date. This can’t be happening to us. We have no plan. What are we going to do? Then—
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The sleep late stage. We didn’t realize how tired we were. Then—
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The let’s-play-all-day stage. That was revelatory. Who were all these other people at this matinee? Then—
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The mourning stage. We loved our jobs. We missed them. We missed our communities. We wanted to go back. But we couldn’t. Then—
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The disbelieving stage. Why were people acting like we were done? Where did they get that idea? Why is no-one offering us a job? Then—
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The cranky stage. We’ll show them! Then—
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The transformation stage. We finally saw that we were on to something new and exciting. We could do whatever we decided to do. Our future was wide open. Wheee!!!
Once we started Lustre—which took a long time—we found our new careers. We embraced our new lives and our new communities and our new skills—and all the younger people showing us how to move forward in a tech/social media world of which we were definitely not natives. We learned so much and reveled in having younger people as our guides.
Now that we have some perspective, what do we say to new retirees?
The first year is hard. If you expect it to be hard, then you will not feel so isolated. We all go through the stages of retirement, and there is no way, as far as we can tell, to skip them—unless you figure out a way to go back to your old job, which we do not advocate.
Try to find a friend who is in the throes of retirement too. It’s always good to talk about your fears and frustrations. Even if you don’t know a recent retiree, know that you are not alone. Every day 10,000 people in the US reach retirement age—and about half of them are women. You will find your community. And of course, once you find your footing that community will be multigenerational. Those younger people have a lot to teach us. Just like the older ones.
Most of all, just understand it is a very big transition, with a lot of dislocation, but never forget that you have the foundation of your career to guide you to a new and delightful future. You have all the tools you need to create a fascinating next phase.
Once you get started with that phase, you will be thrilled.
Retired December 31st. Yes, yes and yes. Thanks, I needed this article.
Thanks for sharing this information. As much as I was looking forward to “ my retirement “ and knew it would mean lots of changes ( 3 months ago) it’s nice to hear what others have experienced and this helps to put things in perspective.
You’ve nailed this- spot-on. It’s a process, a grieving process. And it’s quite unique in that it is followed by euphoria and celebration.
wow! How did you get inside my head and write my exact words? Thank you, thank you! It is definitely a process. It reminds me of the Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ 5 stages of grief. I am at the "why is everyone not banging on my door offering me a job" stage. I will remember this and relax.
Thank you for the words of wisdom! Not even two months into this new life and definitely have days that I struggle with not being crazy busy!
Thank you for the article. Retired 10 months ago and I am still going through all the steps that you mentioned. Great to know that it is not only me.
Thanks for this article! I’m about to begin my retirement season in 3mos. I think I have an idea of how to transition through, but this has certainly given me insight to what lays ahead. Greatly Appreciated!
It’s a process–we learned the hard way!
I retired AND moved to a new city (Austin,TX) three years ago after my husband of 32 years passed away. I am still trying to find my purpose. The pandemic didn’t help. I’ve joined a new church, started volunteering and I met a great guy, but some days are still difficult. My “transition” is taking longer than I thought but I try to stay in acceptance and gratitude.
Retired just 5 months ago agree with take time for yourself so well deserved 30 years to figure out your next role in life try lots of things some will be interesting some will not you get to chose life is a grand adventure
This is all so amazing! I felt believe I found you all. I’m not retired yet but planning to in a year and am planning on starting a new business as a coach ( in training now) . I’m
So excited about it and also about this new stage of life but it’s weird too . I’m so happy to have found a community.
I turned 70, retired and move to Italy all within 10 days, just six weeks ago and definitely reeling. I read the post and all the comments and feel so much better. Thanks to all of you❤️
Thank you for this! I retired a bit earlier than I’d originally planned last year after realizing that there had to be more to life than 60 hour work weeks. We moved cross country to live somewhere healthier for us, but it’s been a challenge during the pandemic. I’m still trying to figure out where to invest my time, passion, and experience. Having been in healthcare for years, I know that I need to slow down and learn to relax a bit. Not easy but working on it!
Thanks for this! I just retired at the end of 2021 and am working through all the stages you describe in your article. It’s a process and it’s great to know there are others out there feeling the same way. Here’s to 2022!