Scared Of Getting Older? Don’t Be.

By Karen and Erica

Why is everyone terrified about getting older?

With the exception of some very young people, who want to get a little bit older so they can do certain things—vote, or drink, or drive—many of the rest of us are terrified about getting older. In fact, some are so scared they can be diagnosed as suffering from gerascophobia. Yes, that’s a real word, and a defined phobia. We just learned it, too.

Most people are not actually phobic. Just petrified. And repulsed. They have FOGO—fear of getting old. Often, their fears arise from, and result in, agism—the last acceptable ism. And a particularly odd ism, when you think that every one of us who does not expire will get older, regardless of race, religion, creed, sex, gender, whatever. Agism is prejudice against your future self. Seems unintelligent.

Also oddly, often that agism is directed at people who are pretty far from old. An article entitled Why Ageism Never Gets Old, notes that the term was coined in 1969, after the Federal Discrimination in Employment Act set 40 as the age after which an employee could assert an age discrimination claim. (Paradoxically, that was right about the time when people began to live longer and longer.) So in 1969 we were considered old at 40? Has anything changed?

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You get older on a schedule. Each day that passes during which you remain alive is a day in which you get a day older. But becoming decrepit is not dictated by the same schedule. Our bodies do change with the passing of the years, and we don’t look all dewy as maybe some of us did when we were younger. But we are still pretty well able to walk and chew gum at the same time. The notion that age leads to inevitable decline is dated. The accompanying conviction that age leads directly to becoming a burden on society is equally dated.

So why does everyone fall for these musty preconceptions about aging? Because prevalent images reflect the unthinking propagation of unfounded stereotypes. Why? Because companies want to sell you stuff. Remember that whole anti-aging thing? Built on fear.

What do we do about it? We can change the image of older people. We can make aging attractive to younger people. We can show them that if they are wise, and live well, wonderful times are ahead.

There are so many benefits to having decades of life behind you. We need to give younger people an appealing picture of older people, instead of one that fills them with dread. Fearing age is probably one reason why younger people want to avoid and isolate older people—they don’t want to come face to face with a future they find alarming. And that’s a shame—for us and for them. We love our younger friends and colleagues, and we want our worlds to merge.

We think the message—that getting older can be wonderful—is actually getting some traction. More and more younger people are interested in what we are up to—even though they can see we are older than they are. They see we are out in the world, we have a purpose, we dress for success, we enjoy our coffees and cocktails—and we have no interest in running their lives. The observe that we just want to live in the same world, so we can talk to, and learn from, each other.

Getting older is a blessing to which every young person should aspire. By living our best lives, we can make them look forward to a time when they can live as well as we do.