Are You Worried About Retiring? It Is A Drama. But It Has A Happy Ending.

By Erica and Karen

Are you looking toward the future—a future that begins with your retirement from a job you love? A circle of colleagues you enjoy? Purposeful activity? Identity? And are you filled with unease, because you can see nothing ahead? Just an opaque red curtain that, when it rises, will be the start of the play that will be your new life?

We—the Lustre community—know how you feel. Many of us felt the same way.

Some women, of course, had a plan all along. One of our friends, a very high powered executive, planned for retirement, with her husband, starting early in their marriage. Another friend wanted to retire starting from day one of her career—even though she loved her career. She too planned for that wonderful day, and now lives her best life, making no commitments whatsoever. We totally admire those women who, early on, have such a clear picture of how they want to shape their post-career lives and then do exactly as planned.

We did not! We simply closed our eyes, put our heads down, and decided to ignore the whole thing until we were in it. Some would say that was not very mature. But many would say it describes what they did too!

So, now that we have been retired for a number of years, what would we say is the best approach?

• We have learned that retirement is actually pretty great, if you are healthy and have the wherewithal to decide how to live your post-career life. You are no longer on the job treadmill, and you can do all kinds of fun things on your own schedule. You will not only survive, but prevail, outside of the job structures that you lived within, and loved, for years.

• Because we now know that retirement rocks, we know that fear of retirement is misplaced. So our first suggestion is—change your attitude. Retirement is a goal worth achieving.

• But we also know that it is not a simple transition. It is hard to leave your job, you will mourn the loss of structure and colleagues and purpose, and you will at first be at sea as to what you want to do next.

• The period right after retirement rather panicked us. But it should not panic you. We now know it is a normal part of the process, maybe unnerving but it is there to force you to figure out what you are really missing about your job, and to consider alternatives. Use the time creatively, especially since you can’t skip it—unless you are one of those brilliant retirement planners that we were not.

• One thing you should do during that time is tell people you have a plan for the future, though it is not fully formed, and you would love their ideas. People will be happy to talk to you if they think you are seeking ways to be productive, not simply trying to attach yourself to them because you have nothing else to do. So say yes to every possible meeting. You’ll be rebuilding your community, too.

• And just for the record, we would not want to go back to our old jobs now, even though we loved them. It took a while to get here, and it might take you a while, but you will get to the same place too!

So yes, worrying about retirement is rational. But remember—you have so much to build on. You have solved decades of problems. You will figure it all out. And when you do, you will be at the top of your form, again.

See? The drama has a satisfying end.