Just Say No. So You Can Say Yes.

By Karen and Erica

You just retired. You had a great career, you worked like crazy but loved it all, and now you are ready to take a break and then dive in again, to something wonderful that you will find soon.

Congratulations!

But—beware!

You have just become a hot commodity—but not in the way you might have expected.

Now that you have no job, no quotidian obligations, no-one to answer to—you have time. Time you have earned. Time to relax, first, then to use for thinking about what your next gig might be. (Believe us—you will need time.) Then time to do it.

But some people will have a different idea. Some people see you as having time on your hands. Time you need to fill. Time you don’t know what to do with. So—they will generously fill it for you. They will identify stuff they do not want to do, and they will generously suggest you do it. Because you have time. Stuff like picking up dry cleaning. Planning the next children’s party. Taking the car for a checkup.

Everyone else still has external obligations, and you don’t, so that’s the obvious solution.

Just say no.

You have just finished a long and illustrious career. While you worked, you raised a family and presided over a home. Now, those years are over. Now it is time for something new. Now you get to decide how to use the foundation of your working life for your next act. And that next act revolves around you.

Here’s the plan:

• First, practice saying no. You have always been a team player so you are not good at saying no. You know well how to say: Of course I will help. No more! If you don’t want to wait for your neighbor’s cable guy, don’t! If you hate party planning and are cranky about being asked to do that for the amazing non-profit you serve, just say no. And if you are offered a job doing something you did thirty years ago, just say no to that, too.

• Second, practice thinking about yourself. You’re probably not very good at that either. You’ve earned the right to create a life that suits you.

• Third, remember you are incredibly valuable. You have something only people your age have—experience. People can take it or leave it—but don’t let them ignore it. Or waste it.

• Most important—do not make any major commitment before you know for sure it is right for you.

You have earned the right to take the time to consider your future. You might not figure it out right away. You might have to invent something, like we did. Retirement for women in the twenty-first century is up for grabs! Enjoy the journey until you find what you want—and that journey can be as slow or fast as you want it to be.

You have also earned the right to do nothing, and to play, while you are considering your next move.

You might have to say no to some things. But then you can say yes to a lot of other things. The things that are right for you.