You Did Not Retire So You Could Run Errands For Other People.
by Karen and Erica
You worked hard for decades. You loved your job. You rose through the ranks, and went to the top. You retired on a high note.
So now what?
Well, you will discover that some people (maybe even some beloved family members) think that since you don’t have to work, you can spend time running errands for them. They love and respect you, but your children, your spouse, your friends—they have external obligations, and if you don’t, well then you can do all the stuff they don’t want to do. Or have no time to do. Especially now that everyone is living on Zoom and spending more time at work or school than they did before the pandemic.
Just say no. You did not work as hard as you did so that when you retired you could be a personal TaskRabbit. You just finished a long and illustrious career. Now you get to choose how to use that foundation for your next act. If you like babysitting and housecleaning for your children, fine. But if you don’t, don’t. You have earned the right to choose how to spend your time.
Same with other obligations. Have you found an amazing non-profit that seems to need your expertise? Once you get involved, are you relegated to party planner? If you enjoy that, fine. If not, just say no. And if you try to get a job and all they want is someone to do something you did thirty years ago, just say no to that too.
You have something invaluable—experience. People can take it or leave it—but they cannot send you back to square one as if you didn’t already know what you are doing. Or make you plan parties as if you never had a career. And they can’t make you do errands, either.
How you think about your time and your future is key. It is yours. You earned it. If you need to make money or care for a loved one, that is a true constraint. And, given the state of the world right now, you may feel compelled, as we do, to offer at least some of your time to help as best you can. But otherwise, you should think about how you want to spend your time. Spend it exactly as you wish.
And if you can’t find exactly the niche that would be perfect—create it. You’ll have more fun than you can imagine!
Amazingly on point, as usual. Recently, my husband (a doctor) was complaining to a friend (also a doctor) about how hospital paperwork has increased exponentially because of the pandemic. How his staff is strained to the gills by all the extra forms required by the hospital and by the government. The friend’s suggestion? "Have your wife do it." Well. When my husband reported this conversation to me (no doubt thinking that I would volunteer), I told him in no uncertain terms that I had worked for money since I got my social security card at age 13, that I earned — and deserved — my retirement, and that there was NO WAY I was going to do his paperwork for him. BTW, the doctor who suggested this? He has been married and divorced twice.