Don’t Waste A Special Occasion.

By Karen and Erica

As he was turning 90, Harold Prince called his updated memoir Sense of Occasion. Why? Because he knew something special was about to happen.

“I have plans,” he declares in the last of 19 new chapters in “Sense of Occasion,” a title that refers not to his impending 90th birthday but to the feeling of hushed anticipation that precedes every curtain’s rise.

And that is exactly what a sense of occasion is. Anticipating that a singular event is about to happen. We think that, when you are lucky enough to know that a curtain of some kind is about to rise, you should enter into the moment yourself. Start by dressing up. (We are always most excited when we have a reason to get dolled up.)

Sadly, we are starting to feel like artifacts of a bygone era.

We recently took someone close to us to to celebrate a major event at dinner in a very expensive restaurant. Given the prices, no-one would go there except for a special occasion. The restaurant knows that, as it asks the diners what the special occasion is. The food was excellent. The wine was excellent. The ambience? Not so much. The room was elegant, though amazingly noisy, but nothing looked as if anyone thought something remotely special was about to happen. The restaurant believes guests will enjoy themselves more if they can come to dinner looking as if they just rolled out of bed, and the waitstaff wears their own, relaxed, clothes.

After this experience, we were dismayed that other restaurants seem also to have lost the plot. Read these observations of restaurant critic Pete Wells, who detailed the ways on which even fine dining has become impersonal, with guests being handed screens from which to order. (Note that he compares this approach to a restaurant that absolutely has not lost the plot, the wonderfully personal and special Eulalie. A throwback like us, we guess.)

These restaurants selling comfort rather than style are very successful, so maybe they are on to something. But for heavens sake. The point of a special occasion at a very good restaurant is not just to eat. Or even to drink champagne. The point is that, when you toast your companions, raising your glass of fine sparkling rose, you and your surroundings should look and feel special too.

And it’s not just restaurants. We had the same experience at an excellent play in a small theater in Lincoln Center. It was not the Metropolitan Opera, so we weren’t expecting evening clothes. But we know the actors will be putting themselves out there when the curtain rises, so we do too. Sharing a sense of occasion with actors is exciting. So why did so many theatergoers look as if they had just stepped away from a pickleball court?

These and other, similar, occasions caused us to wonder—are we the only ones interested in a sense of occasion any more? Is it reasonable to attend a celebratory event wearing clothes you might wear to do chores?

Yes, in 2024 you can wear anything you want to wear, anywhere. No more dress codes. And you can do almost everything, except actually dine, on a screen. Comfort and ease rule. We get it, especially for men who used to have to wear coats of arms to special occasions. Perhaps that is why men in particular seem to value ease in all things, and comfort over style—though some know there is a time for civilized dressing:

[Y]ou will certainly never look out of place wearing a top-quality suit at a nice restaurant. We are not talking about your local McDonalds of course. But if there’s a nearby restaurant that you would like to try out, you can dress up for the occasion. In addition, the better dressed you are, the better table you are more likely to get.

If you enjoy attending shows, then you can use the occasion to dress well too. For example, plenty of attendees at Jordan Peterson shows wear three-piece suits. Peterson himself recommends men to wear a suit as often as possible and is also of the opinion that adult men dress like ‘overgrown 10-year-olds’. Attending the theatre, the opera or any show where you witness a comedian or singer in action will allow you to suit up in style.

But just because you can dress the same way every day, and conduct your life on screen—why would you want to? Life is for living, and enjoying through all of your senses. Including a sense of occasion. There aren’t that many, so don’t waste one!