Why We Started Lustre. Ten Foundational Ideas About Retiring And Age.
By Karen and Erica
Why did we start Lustre? Here’s the story.
We both had long careers as corporate lawyers. We loved our jobs, and everything (almost) that went with them. We knew they would end, but we didn’t really believe it. One day, they did. And just like that—we were retired.
Suddenly, overnight, we were nowhere. Invisible. Our skills and experience worthless. Our offer to do projects for non-profits, for free, rejected. Even our friends and families seemed to think we would morph from hard-charging, independent women into failed humans who would live vicariously through them.
They were panicked. We were panicked. What now?
We had given no thought to retirement, or age. We knew both would come, but that all seemed pretty far off, and very amorphous, until it arrived. Shockingly, overnight we became seen as retired and old. These ill-fitting words now defined us.
We had figure out why this was, and how to change it. So, we did.
We eventually learned one key thing—we are new. We are not yet seen as the people we really are.
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First, we probably have a thirty year runway—decades longer than when retirement was invented. That has huge implications for how we choose to live and how we manage resources.
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Second, for the first time ever, most of us will remain in good mental and physical form throughout, combining experience and sentience as long as we live. That’s revolutionary.
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Third, very few people know about points one and two. Too many—including many of us—still think that humans over 65 are old and done and should be sidelined for their own good—a media stereotype that may never have been true and is surely behind the times today.
So we decided, as we sat on a park bench eating sandwiches one sunny day, that we would challenge the stereotypes and show everyone who we really are. How would we do that? With a blog. How would we start a blog? We had no idea. So we came up with a plan—to get help and move forward one step at a time.
First, we needed a place to think. An office. We got one in a WeWork that used to be the Goldman Sachs HQ. It turned out to be party city, all day, every day. We moved to a quieter place—though still with a ping pong table in the lobby. We raised the tenant average age considerably. WeWork’s travails, and COVID, meant we had to give up that office, but now we have a new one—across from Saks! Indeed, Saks is morphing into its own coworking space!
Second, we needed a website. That was mysterious business. We found some lovely young men to help. They told us their mothers would be thrilled by what we were doing! We agonized over the look, and eventually achieved a clean, clear, elegant website.
Third, we needed a name. That was painful. We agonized over the name for about a hundred years. Lustre won the day.
Fourth, we needed to figure out what to put on the website. We agonized some more. We knew how to write briefs, but not much about writing for regular people, let alone how to create images to support the message. Our daughters helped with image. We sat down and figured out we would write about exactly the things that made us anxious—being seen as old and withdrawn because we were retired.
And then there was social media—another new and incomprehensible frontier. Some savvy young women helped us on that front, excited for their mothers!
In the middle of 2016, we dragooned a small coterie of friends and family into being our first subscribers, and we launched. Scared as could be that it was obvious we had no idea what we were doing.
We realized we had ten foundational ideas
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We are are the forefront of the first large cohort of women who worked straight through to retirement.
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Our cohort is growing every day.
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We have substantial resources.
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We have lived lives that we shaped to suit ourselves.
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We will do retirement differently from men.
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Few, if any, images circulating in media or society show us as we are—vibrant and lively.
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Many images show us as we are not—feeble, needy and vacant.
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Post-career, we have no role models, just as when we entered the workforce. Once again, we have to be the role models.
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Retirement, as it was invented in the 1950s, is completely outdated.
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Retired career women will reinvent the post-career picture.
We worked to show us as we all are–active, engaged with the world, with money to spend, places to go, things to do. We addressed image, and identity, and prejudice, and stereotypes. We talked about style, and travel, and home. Lustre gave us contacts and entree to lots of people—people like us who felt as dislocated as we did, and other people, including many men, who liked Lustre’s message.
Of course there were some issues. Bookkeeping. Proofreading. No paycheck. And we have made any number of mistakes. Luckily, we know mistakes are not the end of the world.
It sure has been fun. We have watched Lustre grow, and we have been excited to hear from the many women who tell us fabulous stories of their own post-career journeys. Lustre is surely resonating with the people we were trying to reach.
We have many goals still to meet, and big challenges ahead. But a movement is underway and we’re enjoying the ride.
Thanks for joining us.
PF
I have recently retired after 30 years of working for a nonprofit that provides 24 hours a day service to women and children fleeing domestic violence, 24 years in the extremely demanding leadership role. I gave my Board of Directors a two-year warning that when I turned 65 and reached my 30th anniversary I was going to be retired. Then Covid hit and it created the two most stressful years I’ve ever spent in my life. Simultaneously we searched for a new CEO and I have had a six month turning over the reins process. It was very hard to go from being the CEO to a supporting role. I felt peace as in worked out of the position and have turned over all my relationships and knowledge that I could. As I planned the end, I knew my ego was wrapped up in this job and that it was my complete identity. It would take a thoughtful process to let it go and make space for my next adventure. I found a fabulous eco-therapist to help me transition from a high profile position in the middle of action to a sole actor. We did this amazing ritual to “ bury my job” and to rebirth me. It was quite an experience and I highly recommend it. I plan to spend the next few months resting and learning who I am without the title and then look for NEXT!! I do know that forest bathing will be part of my future. Your blog is inspiring to help reinforce what is possible.
Thank you for sharing. I agree I was invisible solo entrepreneur for 20 years. I did not have the standard carreer path as many people have. I am grateful for the redefining now. New beginnings and opportunities.
So on a lighter note- I was having lunch at a friend’s home (we are both early retirees in our 60’s from executive jobs) and her 30- something daughter was overheard saying to a friend- "You are not going to believe this. They were discussing climate change while they were drinking gin martinis and Dawn sped out of here in a Volvo SUV. I didn’t realize women that age still did stuff like that!"
Thanks so much, ladies. And Dawn—LOVE your story! We need more of those!
You’re welcome, and by the way you are doing a great job…no pun intended.
Thanks so much, Brenda. Greatly appreciated!
Re-birth AND reinvention! The words “retire” and “retiree” are outdated! My husband and I, 66 and 65, are quite literally “having the time of our lives,” even during COVID!” We call ourselves “retir-EASE;” living lives with far less pressure, no career competition, less worry and stress; that’s led to an ease of living, contentment, joy and peace! We actually now enjoy having time for our cherished hobbies we gave up on long ago like reading, gardening, cooking together, exercising and watching old movies; constantly learning, exploring and engaging with the beauty of life!
I often hear younger, 40 something women these days use trite phrases like I’m “unapologetically enough” to which I say…we should NEVER be “enough” or be “done” with recreating and re-birthing ourselves! That’s being stagnant and it’s not living nor evolving and letting life unfold to witness miracles every day!
We are given the gift of time, even more so after LEAVING 30+ year careers, so let’s use it productively and wisely and never, ever say that we are “enough!”
Don’t look back…keep moving forward!
Thank you for this. I’m looking at retirement in a little over a year, and wanting to find a workshop or ongoing group for pre-retirement prep. How to tune myself emotionally, mentally for a strong retirement. Other than Lustre, everything I see is mostly about finances.
Thank for this, my semi-retirement started earlier than planned due to covid. I read all your emails. it gives me encouragement that post career life is not scary , you all helped me thru the emotional roller coaster of who I was and what I am going to be . what i like the most is this written buy women for women. Not many men understand how hard we worked to establish ourselves in our careers and all of a sudden its gone, you all have helped me understand I am not just the career and there is more out there to conquer.
This is great . This year i plan to travel. I have a small elderly care business, 4-5 clients so i can travel. This is great i have been retired as a Paralegal since 2008. I am definitely interested in what y’all do!! Leila Cosby
This is a much-needed publication! At a bridal shower for my grandson’s bride, her grandmother and I exchanged business cards. We’re both 79. She still works part-time as a flight nurse, and I am a writer. The youngsters are still talking about the grandmothers exchanging business cards instead of phone numbers on paper scraps.
thank you for this and this explanation. I was a bouncing ball most of my working life with health issues taking me out of the work force for some time. I have a Master’s in Human Behavior but it did not lead me to training but into Human Resources. I loved all of that. Then more down sizing and then another. I then did all kinds of interesting work outside of corporate America. I was a strong square peg trying to fit into a round corporate hole. Then I "retired" 2010 because of a TBI at work. I am now disabled however I have learned to adapt. I look forward to this group and thank you so much for making it happen.