Passages, Then and Now.

By Karen and Erica

Do you remember back in 1976 when Gail Sheehy’s book Passages was published? We do, though we probably never even registered its subtitle: Predictable Crises of Adult Life. We recall, somewhat hazily, that the book was a big deal because it introduced the idea that, during one’s life, one encounters crises that are properly seen as opportunities for development. Of these, there were four big ones:

Sheehy distinguishes four major times of passage. At about age eighteen, men and women begin their adult lives by “Pulling Up Roots.” Then in their “Trying Twenties,” they begin to take their place in the world. Turning thirty gives them a new set of problems, and “The Deadline Decade” from thirty-five to forty-five poses even more. If these passages are navigated with some success, Sheehy believes that adults can look forward to happiness and “Renewal.”

What might happen after 45? We could hardly imagine being so old, and we didn’t really care. When we first encountered Passages, we were at the beginning of adulthood, and it seemed reasonable that at forty-five we would retreat to rocking chairs. We couldn’t really imagine being that age. (Remember never trust anyone over 30?) And why should we? Prevailing images showed older women pottering around after their families had grown and flown, looking drab and doing nothing very exciting. We did not aspire to any of that. Had we even thought about what older might look like, there were very few image of older women to inspire us. 

Sheehy’s book did contain the seeds of change. She actually contemplated that women might develop into players in the larger world–as of course she had become. 

[S]heehy was a pioneer. Before her book, few studies differentiated women’s development from men’s, and few discussed the relations between men and women as they are affected by different personal timetables. She was one of the early writers to focus on one of the most important problems that continue to face contemporary women: how to mix motherhood and a career. All in all, her book has contributed to creating a favorable climate of opinion for discussion of the development of adult women and for more professional and academic studies of them.

But Passages did not take the story very far–its story ended at 50. As was true of us at that time, to Sheehy whatever happened after 50 was likely uninteresting.

I couldn’t imagine life beyond 50, and I certainly couldn’t bring myself to consider it as a time of special possibility or potential.”Living beyond 50, says Sheehy, “had always conjured up moms who slipped into depression or some slope-shouldered fellow sitting in a fishing boat while the world goes by. It was supposed to be a time of winding down. . . . Careers were settled; one was either coasting toward retirement, resigned to failure, or somewhat patronized as a has-been success. Children were launched. Idealism had faded. Learning was completed. Love was about cuddling or rocking grandchildren, certainly not associated with computer dating or uninhibited sex.

But, when Sheehy set out to write a sequel, New Passages, she learned that everything had changed.

Sheehy admits to her shock when, seven years after “Passages,” she set out to write a sequel only to discover a historic revolution in the adult life cycle. After conducting hundreds of interviews, she recalls, a voice kept nagging at the back of her conscious mind: There is something deeper, richer and much riskier that you must try to grasp. And grasp it she did. Her conclusion? “The second half of adult life is not the stagnant, depressing, downward slide we have always assumed it to be.”

Of course, many of us who first read Passages in our 20s now know what she discovered. And we now know that retirement–for women, not just men–is a huge passage, something that could not have been foreseen back in 1976 when we–the first very large cohort of career women to work until retirement–were all just starting out.  Looking back, we can see now how pathbreaking we all were–and how life-changing were the public health developments of the 1950s that allow us now to enjoy the benefits of healthy longevity. Living through it was exciting enough. Seeing from the distance we have now attained gives us a new perspective.

And we can wonder–now that all of us are navigating this momentous passage, each finding a different and fascinating resolution, will women entering the workforce today now see that getting older, and entering into post-retirement life, can be creative and exciting, something definitely to aspire to?  We think many will find the new images of post-career, older women most beguiling. We hope younger women can see what life can be like, and will be excited one day to join our ranks.