by Karen and Erica

You worked 24/7 for decades, in a great job. You learned to lead, and you rose high. You raised your children, too, feeding and clothing them and often a partner. You kept a moderately elegant and clean home. You had help along the way, for sure, but your drive kept you on the path that led you to retiring on a high note.

So now what? Well, you will discover that some people (maybe even some beloved family members) think that since you don't have to work, you can spend time running errands for them. They love and respect you, but your children, your spouse, your friends—they have external obligations, and if you don't, well then you can do all the stuff they don't want to do. Or have no time to do.

Just say no. You did not work as hard as you did so that when you retired you could be a personal TaskRabbit. You just finished a long and illustrious career. Now you get to choose how to use that foundation for your next act. If you like cooking for the family, fine. But if you don’t, don’t. You have earned the right to choose how to spend your time.

Same with obligations you decide to assume. Have you found an amazing non-profit that seems to need your expertise? Once you get involved, are you relegated to party planner? If you enjoy that, fine. If not, just say no. And if you try to get a job and all they want is someone to do something you did thirty years ago, just say no to that too.

You have something invaluable—expertise. They can take it or leave it—but they cannot send you back to square one, and they can’t pretend it is reasonable to offer you a job that requires you to do the drudgery that you did all those years ago when you were learning for the first time what your career entailed.

How you think about your time and your future is key. It is yours. You earned it. If you need to make money or care for a loved one, that is a true constraint. But otherwise, you should think about how you want to spend your time. Spend it exactly as you wish. And if you can’t find exactly the niche that would be perfect—create it.