By Karen and Erica

You want to have dinner in a restaurant. You are tired of cooking for yourself, and tired of ordering in, and would love to have someone wait on you and do the dishes. But it is COVID winter and you live in North America, and you don’t really think those fully enclosed spaces that happen to be on the sidewalk really keep you safe. So you need to be outside.

You would also like to dress up. You are really really tired of wearing the same old clothes. You want to wear a slinky dress, or a sequined catsuit, or one of those outfits Wonder Woman wears in her latest movie when she’s not on duty.

Well, you can. Put on your favorite glamorous evening outfit. Even stilettos. All you have to do is put one of these over it. What is it? A Selk’bag. A wearable sleeping bag for the Arctic, with arms and legs and a hood and even footies for those stilettos. (We have no clue what happens when you need to visit the ladies.) Of course, only you will know how fabulous you look. Others will see you as a walking sleeping bag. But you are mature enough not to worry what other people think.

Another option is a blanket. Or, probably, several. Some restaurants, like the wonderful King in the Village, even sell them. Pile a few on, and all should be well—again, until you visit the ladies.

If you want to give up on fashionista, the options are greater, though not more elegant. Layering is the thing. Some call it dressing like an onion. Never mind that you will also assume the shape of an onion. Here’s a checklist. Hats. Hoods. Scarf. Under shirt. Over shirt. Under sweater. Over sweater. Jacket. Long underwear. Pants. Two sets of socks. Thick boots. Norwegian advice seems very relevant, but wool next to your skin? Not for us. We agree with our friends from Minnesota—leave as little skin exposed as possible. But when they tell us to wear flannel—we’re not going there

We might try heated jackets. We bought an early version from Ministry of Supply as a gift several years ago. It’s still going strong. Here are today’s intelligent versions, insulated with coffee-infused polyester, of all things. Apparently the idea caught on—now there are other sources. Not sure if they use coffee grounds too.

Whatever you do, wrap yourself up tight, leaving only a small slit to allow for the passage of food and drink, one way, and words, the other. That’s dressing for COVID dinner.

Maybe this reminds you of when you were little and your parents bundled you into a snowsuit and you couldn't move your arms and legs. Maybe that’s not so appealing now that you are older and wiser and no longer taking all sustenance from a bottle. So we end with an exciting observation made by many of those who know a thing to two about the cold. In order to stay warm you should increase caloric intake. Think hot chocolate. Rich creamy pastas. Bread with lots of butter. That might make the bundling worth it. And although they also suggest that mainlining alcohol is not the way to go, we choose to assume they do not mean to exclude hot toddies and mulled wine from your outdoor diet.

So go out there and have an Arctic adventure in your own neighborhood, and tell us how it went!