By Karen and Erica

Did you have a wonderful job for decades? A job you loved most of the time, with people you loved most of the time? A job with responsibility and opportunity? A job where you became a star and mentored future stars?

And did you expect that after you retired you would be treated rather like Yoda, with awe and wonder, because of your otherworldly abilities and achievements? Sought after for your skills and experience?

Instead, are you dismayed to discover that people want you to do their chores for them???

Sadly, that may be the case. Some people—maybe even family members who should know better—think that you are now free to spend time running errands for them. They have external obligations, and you don't, and of course you need to fill your days, so they will help by asking you to do all the stuff they don't want to do.

Just say no.

You may feel a little guilty about that. It is true that you no longer have days crowded with obligations to others. That takes getting used to. And it takes a while to internalize the reality that you are now entitled to do what you want to do with your time.

You like to be helpful. But that’s bad idea as a full time activity. The whole point of retirement is that after you have finished a long and illustrious career you get to choose how to use that foundation to shape your future. You have earned the right to decide how to spend your time.

Same with other obligations. Has your favorite non-profit relegated you to party planner? Just say no. Does a potential employer want you to do something you did thirty years ago? Just say no. How you think about your time and your future is key. It is yours. You earned it. If you need to make money or care for a loved one, that is a true constraint. But for the time that is yours, spend it exactly as you wish. And remember—you are entitled to think about what you want to do—including nothing—for as long as you like.

You should have many opportunities do to something wonderful. If you can’t find exactly the niche that would be perfect—create it. You have something invaluable—experience. People can take it or leave it—but don’t let them send you back to square one as if you didn’t already know what you are doing.

Make chores incidental and create a wonderful third quarter. For yourself.