By Erica and Karen

Many people retire at the end of the year. Did you? Are you now a bit uncertain about what’s next? Where you are going? How you will find a community? Will you find identity and purpose?

We realized after we retired that we were on a journey that would take a while and had no obvious terminus. We went through many stages during that first year or so:

• The terrified stage—starting before and ending months after the actual date. This can’t be happening to us. We have no plan. What are we going to do? Then—

• The sleep late stage. We didn’t realize how tired we were. Then—

• The let’s-play-all-day stage. That was revelatory. Who were all these other people at this matinee? Then—

• The mourning stage. We loved our jobs. We missed them. We missed our communities. We wanted to go back. But we couldn’t. Then—

• The disbelieving stage. Why were people acting like we were done? Where did they get that idea? Why is no-one offering us a job? Then—

• The cranky stage. We’ll show them! Then—

• The transformation stage. We finally saw that we were on to something new and exciting. We could do whatever we decided to do. Our future was wide open. Wheee!!!

Once we started Lustre—which took a long time—we found our new careers. We embraced our new lives and our new communities and our new skills—and all the younger people showing us how to move forward in a tech/social media world of which we were definitely not natives. We learned so much and reveled in having younger people as our guides.

Now that we have some perspective, what do we say to new retirees?

The first year is hard. If you expect it to be hard, then you will not feel so isolated. We all go through the stages of retirement, and there is no way, as far as we can tell, to skip them—unless you figure out a way to go back to your old job, which we do not advocate.

Try to find a friend who is in the throes of retirement too. It’s always good to talk about your fears and frustrations. Even if you don’t know a recent retiree, know that you are not alone. Every day 10,000 people in the US reach retirement age—and about half of them are women. You will find your community. And of course, once you find your footing that community will be multigenerational. Those younger people have a lot to teach us. Just like the older ones.

Most of all, just understand it is a very big transition, with a lot of dislocation, but never forget that you have the foundation of your career to guide you to a new and delightful future. You have all the tools you need to create a fascinating next phase.

Once you get started with that phase, you will be thrilled.