By MRose

This is dedicated to all the women over 50 who grew up with the misconception that in order to find happiness we must first find our soulmate so we can blissfully live happily ever after.

My question is, how can we find our soulmate, if, at least in my internet experience, men are missing the very thing we are all searching for, a soul! Please do not get me wrong, I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. However, the more I hear “don’t worry, don’t look for love, it will come when you least expect it” the more I wonder. I think my GPS took a wrong turn somewhere.

I don’t want to sound jaded, and I know some of us out there have been lucky enough to find their soulmate, but that has not been my experience. I recently wrote a book precisely on the experiences I have had with internet dating after the age of 52, with the idea of helping women out there realize that their experiences, although disappointing at times, are not unique. They happen to all of us.  We did not grow up with the internet and although it has been wonderful in some areas, it has not been that great in the dating arena. 

I have always had a sales career. I have decided that internet dating, just like any sale, is a numbers game. Some you win, some you lose, and some you just want to forget.

No matter what, the one thing to remember when you embark on this most interesting journey: keep a positive outlook. It will be difficult at times, but do it. Most of us raised a family, put up with our husbands, moved up the corporate ladder. We can handle internet dating for sure!

After many “first” dates, I have come to the realization that the men who are now back in the dating game are  men that have been married for a long time and are looking for a good time, men who are currently married and need a little excitement in their lives, or men that think they are still in their 20’s and are looking for that high school cheerleader they could not date back in the day. (Not to mentioning the scammers who think American women are gullible and will fall for their pathetic story of being a widower with small children and an aunt that has to have a major operation, so please can you contribute? Are you kidding? 

I do believe there are men out there looking for us: women who are professional, classy, retired or considering retirement. Women who have raised families and are looking for someone to share a new life with. We cab find them. It may seem like finding a needle in a haystack, but it can be done!  What do we have to lose?

Our generation comes from a place where we met our soulmate either in high school, or college, or through a friend. Now we have to deal with the internet. Internet dating is one more thing we need to conquer, just like becoming computer savvy, learning to send emails and texts from our most complicated cell phone. We did that, we can do this.

It may be difficult to wrap our heads around the fact that the person on the other side of the screen could be our soulmate. But think about it. It’s not so different than meeting someone through a mutual friend. At first we really don’t know the person, no matter what the friend says. But then we find out. The gent is just womderful—or a jerk. Same on the internet.

We are professional women, women who led our own companies, climbed the corporate ladder, women who are not afraid of reinventing themselves. It’s time to tackle internet dating with passion, hope and the belief we can succeed. After all, we no longer need anyone to bring home the bacon, we bring it ourselves. So let’s try to find the one that will float our boat!  We deserve it!

 And if nothing else, we are in for an adventure.

MRose has written a book about internet dating.