By Karen and Erica

Are you retiring at the end of the year? Are you excited? Are you petrified? Are you just ignoring the whole thing?

Whatever your reaction, the process will be the same. Now that we have some perspective, what do we say to new retirees?

The first year can be hard. Everything has changed. There is no way, as far as we can tell, to skip the stages of retirement—especially a little mourning—unless you figure out a way to go back to your old job, which we do not advocate.

Here’s what we experienced:

• The terrified stage—starting before and ending months after the actual date. Is this really happening? No work for the first time in decades? What to do?

• The sleep late stage. So tired. Lovely to sleep in.

• The let’s-play-all-day stage. Fun, but wait. How can all these people be out and about in the middle of the day, going to matinees and late martini lunches? How do they do that and pay for their lives?

• The mourning stage. You loved your job. You miss the work and the community. Maybe not the stress. But there is sadness.

• The disbelieving stage. Why do people act as if you changed overnight from hard-charging career woman to passive old lady?

• The cranky stage. You are not what they seem to think you are. You are still who you were the day before you retired. You’ll show them!

• The transformation stage. Finally, you see something new and exciting on the horizon. Yipeee!!!

Try to find a friend who is in the throes of retirement too. Someone to talk to. And know that you are not alone. Every day 10,000 people in the US reach retirement age—and about half of them are women. They are part of your new community.

Most of all, just understand it is a very big transition, with a lot of dislocation, but never forget that your career has given you all the tools you need to create a fascinating next phase.

The next years really can be golden. In any way you like. You will get through the transition, and then you will take wing.