Ten Retirement Challenges That Surprised Us.
By Karen and Erica
We kept our heads firmly in the sand when it came to the possibility that we might retire. No, surely it would not happen to us.Â
Then it did. So we had to learn, on the fly, what retirement for us was all about.
Here are ten challenges that caught us by surprise, and our reactions.
- The change in how we were perceived—from women of substance to women of insignificance—happened fast. Overnight. So fast we had no idea what hit us. It took us a while–and some serious work–to figure it out Â
- We mourned the loss of our jobs. We knew we had loved our work, and our colleagues and work communities, and we understood, intellectually, that they were gone, forever. That was to be expected. Still, we were surprised that mourning was part of the retirement process. We now know it is essential part, and one that would take a while.
- Time was on our side, for a change. We suddenly had lots of time to rest, and to play. We discovered we needed both. We were exhausted. We loved this phase. For a while.
- Science was on our side, too. We learned that a woman who retires in her sixties has decades to live–we are the lucky beneficiaries of a new life stage thanks to advances in medicine, and lifestyle choices from which we all benefit. That was news to us. Very wonderful news, but news that puts the whole idea of retirement into a new perspective. An unprecedented development for all of us.
- Beliefs we had long held about ourselves were challenged. We knew who we had been-–high level lawyers. But who were we now? Would we have to create new identities? How would that work?
- Part of the identity question, of course, involved style. We had always been concerned with communicating through image, and we definitely wanted to project an appearance of elegance and experience. We had, after all, achieved something to be proud of–retiring from wonderful careers What did post-career status look like? We had few role models–and few designers to offer us any ideas.
- We knew we were still motivated by the objectives that had motivated us during our careers. We thrived on challenge, and purpose, and the satisfaction of a job well done. And we had decades of valuable experience. But no-one wanted to use our experience. No-one could see a position we might logically fill. That was a real stunner.Â
- Surprisingly, it turns out that Boomer women are the wealthiest cohort in the United States. We thought that should mean that we were sought after. Marketers should want to shower us with fun stuff to buy or do. But we were invisible. We were seen as a market only for rehabilitative devices like incontinence pads. Why on earth was that?
- We began to understand that all of these surprises existed because we were a new breed—women over sixty who were sentient, and energetic, and experienced, women who had a long runway and the mental and financial assets to make our new stage of life fabulous. But we needed people to see us. It reminded us a bit about the predicament we faced when we started out—we were seen, at first, as entertaining young women who would work for a couple of years and then leave the workforce. We put ourselves on the mapping then, and we needed to do it again.
- Over time, we pulled the pieces together and developed a picture of who we were, why were perceived in ways that were archaic, and what we needed to do to try to change retirement for women like us. We were surprised to realize we were happy with our post-career lives. We were no longer interested in going backwards, to our old jobs. That was another revelation. A good one.
Your journey will be different, but some of the elements will be the same. Retirement is changing, for the better, and we will all play a role in that. Exciting times!
Love this. Feeling it myself. Both the slowing greying out feeling but really wanting to do something fun, different and fulfilling.
Thank you for sharing this story with us. It reaffirms all that I have been feeling since my recent retirement. I knew in my head that it would happen. I didn’t realize how quickly it would happen; nor was I prepared for how intensely I feel the loss of my professional voice and impact on others. This article helped me know that I am not unique in this experience. Now it is up to me to find my new voice and fulfillment on this new journey.
I love the Luster website! I always find it uplifting with new articles to enjoy, that I can relate to and information I can learn from. Also, I look forward to the Zoom events and Thursday’s news with Susan and the gang. Thank you for being there.
I have retired twice! How fun is that? This was because the medical field is so short staffed that they ask retired professionals to come back to work when they get in a real bind for workers. So, after three satisfying years of retirement in the “fun, travel, happy” phase I went back to Laboratory Medicine and Pathology on my own terms, my own hours and my own pay scale. I was very lucky and I am humbled and appreciative to this day. However, when the three year stint was over, I retired again. This time was different and not so fun and not so happy with bouts of anxiety and depression. So, I am starting anew every morning to find joy and fulfillment in just being myself, whoever that is. I’m finding out.
Thank you Lustra for letting me tell my story.
Becky
Thanks to all of you for contributing to the Lustre community of fabulous women!
“Beliefs we had long held about ourselves were challenged. We knew who we had been-–high level lawyers. But who were we now? Would we have to create new identities? How would that work?“ So much of this article is spot on for me! Thank you for articulating it so well. I feel seen.
I’m a brand new member; joining today. Thanks for this article and it’s the road map. I just retired at the end of April of 2025 after working for more than 45 years.Since retiring I moved to a new home and have been settling into my new home and neighborhood. Since June 6, I’ve been traveling with friends and will be back home in early Aug. So I feel like I’ve been on vacation since retiring. At this point I’m looking forward to settling into retirement and creating a new normal.
Definitely can relate to this article. I’ve been retired for four years, the first of all my friends. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. I’ve always been someone looking for the next personal or professional achievement. I thought retirement might be challenging but did not anticipate how challenging. Some days I feel like I am figuring it out and other days not so much. I’m looking forward to connecting with other women who are trying to navigate this new phase of life.
Welcome, everyone. As you are all saying, it is a journey, with good days and bad days. We’re in it together, and yes, you are seen.
I have recently been informed that my position has been eliminated as being “inessential”.
I have had 3 careers. RN, then attorney and in government as a consultant. I was planning on easing into retirement by working part time for about 6 months. That plan was cut short. I am retiring at the end of August. I am feeling adrift because at the end of a fulfilling and varied career, I lost control.
Looking for transition support.
It’s been exactly one year of retirement after 25 years as a teacher in NYC public schools. I thought I’d miss the student interactions, the camaraderie of colleagues, the satisfaction of being my best self at my calling…..but, no, not even a little! Has it been fun…?…again, no! Life’s demands continue unabated.
At the cusp of 70 (in November), I am finding I have time to be the person I’ve always been without placing my wants and needs on the back burner. Such liberty and freedom I have earned to my utter surprise. Nose to the grindstone of physically and mentally demanding work, I never came up for air. Until now.
As a teacher, I didn’t earn a whole lot of money, but I lived within my means and paid off a 15 yr mortgage within a decade. I have a pension and will begin receiving SS full retirement age benefits in December. Retiring near 70 was a good decision for me.
My (2nd) husband and I go for a quick bike ride each morning to start the day. Life seems to stretch before me without pressure, at least for now. I’m happily gliding through time.