Retirement. The Car Stops. The Passenger Doesn’t.

By Karen and Erica

Retirement is difficult. Retirement  is no longer the prelude to an immediate decline, but it is a massive life change. Among the other things, you need to consider what you want to do in your remaining decades.

We decided, after a long period of wandering in the wilderness, to embark on an effort to advocate for the value of retired and older women. We did not expect that overnight we would achieve the goal of making all of us, and our many and varied assets, seen as valuable. But by embarking on this journey we have encountered all kinds of interesting lessons and amazing people and crazy challenges that have filled our days with learning and fun.

We have met many women who think we are crazy, and who are delighted that retirement has allowed them to experience the quotidian pleasures of family and fun without the pressures and constraints of something resembling a job. But we have also met many women with post-career goals that require time to achieve. Playwrights, medical experts, authors, entrepreneurs, scholars, chefs. 

We were surprised, therefore, to read that data exist to suggest many in the post-career stage of life do not have long term goals.  Since the post-career period can now extend for decades, that seemed curious. The apparent explanation is that, pot-career, one’s time horizon shortens and one’s goals become more personal. 

First, setting goals is still important but the process and type of goals differ. Many of the goals you will set become shorter term. The long-time professional goals are gone and many of the personal ones have been met. Shorter time frames and sub-goals become more salient. One study we did asked people of all ages to describe the short- and long-term goals they had achieved or were pursuing. Not surprisingly, the younger you were the fewer things you had achieved. But the startling result was the absence of almost all long-term goals for people who had retired. Your goals are also self-set as contrasted with goals that had been assigned or set for you by others. You are the captain of your ship.

The other interesting shift is related to goals but differs in substance. You used to have goals that were much more instrumental. You did A to get to B. I need to succeed at this project so I can get that raise or promotion. Thus, you always had your eye on the future. In retirement you will find that many of your goals are in the moment. Pay attention to what is happening to you now. Take pleasure in events and happenings that are self-encapsulated: time talking to a friend, listening to music, reading a book, walking with a grandchild on a sunny day. Much of your happiness will come from such experiences.

Obviously, the author is correct that, for most people, no post-career goal is likely to be in service of getting ahead in a career. But surely some people, like us, have longer term, big picture, projects?

Other authors seem to have a different view.

Self-actualization isn’t the be-all and end-all, but a transitional goal, and retiring its agendas isn’t just about pocketing a gold watch, moving to Florida, and playing golf, not that there’s anything inherently wrong with any of those things. But retirement may confront you in the most profound and often rattling ways with who you are, how you operate in the world, and how attached you are to your mental models. Or, more to the point, who you are now, and what parts of you want airtime in the time remaining.

And this won’t unfold at the flick of a switch. A lifetime of working—certainly of striving to attain the mythic summit of your potential—generates a tremendous momentum that doesn’t end just because work ends. It’s a bit like a head-on collision. The car stops, but the passenger doesn’t.

Quite an image–the car stops but the passenger doesn’t!

And it seems correct, for many. A person who had an interesting career she loved does not turn off the thought process that charted that career just because she is retired. Much more likely that such a person will  craft her own story She will paint a picture of a new phase of life capitalizing on the experience of her years. No longer motivated to get ahead in the world, but very motivated to stay connected, and to use her skills with others who are on that trajectory. As Richard Branson remarked:

Ultimately, who you are in retirement is whoever you make yourself up to be. So, use your imagination. Craft a better retirement story. 

Researchers have found that people who crafted identity stories were “better able to make peace with their transitions and leave behind their old identities, expressing more positive sentiment about their current situations than those who did not craft such stories.”

Take inspiration from Richard Branson, who created the narrative that his life is a never-ending adventure, writing: “Life is not a journey to retirement.” 

Branson is right. Life is not a journey to retirement. Life is a series of challenges and pivots. Those of us who have achieved retirement have the right to decide how to form the next chapter. Each of us will do it differently, but nothing is off the table while we are on that long post-career runway.

The passenger does indeed keep moving forward