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I sell real estate and meet people that way. Many have become my friends and are in my life but it is hard to meet new friends.
At the gym. At the pool. At in person & virtual classes. By talking to strangers.
It’s been difficult. Retiring at 56 means most of my contemporaries are still working. I’ve joined a film group, a yoga studio and signed up for riding lessons but I’m an introvert so it’s hard for me to strike up conversation.
Volunteer!!! At a church, a food distribution center, community Park District, your local government. These entities are typically looking for people to help with special events as well as recurring activities. Not only will you be having a positive impact on your community, you will meet like-minded people, many of them friendly. Just ,make a few phone calls to organizations that appeal to you.
Doing what I enjoy that involves other people. Being an introvert, I need to make an effort to seek out group activities. Pilates class, women’s club, book club, neighborhood committees, art organizations… Showing up consistently and seen regularly opens up opportunity to connect and build friendships.
I am a Realtor & other than colleagues, our customers don’t usually become personal friends. Being a widow of 18 yrs., I’ve tried attending several synagogue activities & found the men willing to talk to me, but few women & the women were very protective over their husbands – they usually walked away hand in
hand, instead of maybe joining the conversation! Not very welcoming…very cliquey!
Without my daughters & grandkids, I wouldn’t have any social life! I had the same reaction when I volunteered at various functions- men welcomed me, women not so
much! I also find it hard to maintain friendships w/married friends – when the husbands retire, they become very dependent on their wives for company & they subsequently have little time for girlfriends, unless you’re the other half of a couple.
Tried dating sites – most older men are looking for a nurse, a purse or quick hop in the hay! No thank you! It’s as if there’s no time left to actually falling in
love & really liking someone before they want to get intimate! I guess I’m old- fashioned, one night stands don’t agree w/me. What happened to getting to know someone & actually desiring them? It’s not easy being single after a long marriage, especially if it was a pretty happy one. I work, read a lot, go to movies (w/my daughters or alone), garden in Summer & cook a lot for my family. I babysit & run
errands for them, too. Would love to do some traveling, but I find it very costly & hard to do alone. I really have to push myself to get out there – been disappointed when I do finally attend something.
Wow…I really don’t like to sound like “misery likes company”…..but a few things that some of you have said really “hit home.” Jeneene…your post is me! All I had to do is change the name…I have experienced exactly what you have…The only difference is that I have been a widow for 14 years…I like to keep busy and now that my grandchildren are getting older they don’t need me as much…Since Covid, I stopped going to the health club and work out at home…so I miss out on that socialization too. I have volunteered …but that doesn’t keep me as busy as I would like…anyone have any suggestions…what keeps you busy that you really enjoy? I love Lustre because I can relate to some many of the wonderful articles!
To Jeneene Safer and others with a similar experience: so much for sisterhood.
I got involved in community theater. I am meeting nee friends of all ages and interests. I have used talents and skills that have sat dormant for a long time. Don’t worry if you’re not a performer. So many things are needed. Builders, painters, costumers, ticket takers, ushers, concession workers, printers, and on and on. It’s so much fun.