Retirement Is New In 2023. The Party Should Be, Too.

By Ashley Rigby

My mother was retiring. I was doing the party. It wasn’t easy.

I went to a big-box party store, and it smelled of tchotchkes. The cavernous fluorescent-lit building is comprised of 90% plastic, crowded with unimaginative decorations, balloons, and throw away table settings that will undoubtedly find a permanent home on the floor of a carpooling parents SUV. It’s late July and an entire aisle, the length of a competition-sized swimming pool, is filled to the ceiling with graduation-related celebration supplies. “Congratulations!” “1 degree hotter”. “Bring on the student loan payments”. Ugh.

The store showcased graduation-themed goods in multiple styles, fonts, and languages even though graduation season was in the rear-view mirror. A competitor of theirs, Michael’s craft store is aware of this and has dedicated most of their floor space to faux pumpkins and “pumpkin spice is life” signs by late July. I had to ask store clerk to point me to the retirement-related party supplies. She took a pause, cocked her head as her eyes pivoted to the corner of her upper lids, as if she was truly looking inside of her head for the answer….do they even have one? If so, it became apparent she was not introduced to it during her employee-training.

This all checks out, because as she led me to the furthest corner of the store, I wondered if we were going to the employee break room or dumpster out back. We just kept walking. She pointed me to a dimly lit shelf and said “there”, as I let out an audible sigh. She sauntered away to go organize to the rows of pink and blue baby gender reveal trinkets.

The retirement party selection is about six feet wide and has only one, I repeat one, very sad design option. Plates, napkins and decorations in primary colors, childish block font, with confetti dots. It’s the same color and font used for preschooler placards noting their grade, teacher, and favorite food. Silly sayings on the napkins such as, “Officially Off the Clock” are not even relevant to many people retiring.

I attended an amazing retirement party a few years ago at a local brewery. It was a costume party, and the guests were encouraged to dress up as one of the jobs or careers (listed in the invitation) of the guest of honor. People showed up as camp counselors, bus drivers, teachers, carpenters, and fast-food workers. Everyone laughed out loud upon entering. Especially, the guest of honor, who remembered, upon seeing her sister-in-law with a bucket of chicken on her head, that she once worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

The guest of honor was my mom, and I was the party planner, along with my Dad and sister. We did not use “Off the Clock” plates. We did not pay extra for ill-designed, unimaginative party decorations. My mom was a teacher and hadn’t punched into a clock in decades. She loved her career and was appreciative of the many jobs that eventually guided her to become a teacher. We celebrated and honored them all.

Retirement parties are just a sliver of the retirement experience, but they deserve to be reimaged just as much as the entire retirement journey does. Let’s not celebrate one’s retirement in the same style we celebrate those graduating preschool. Let’s reimagine a fresher, cooler, relevant retirement party. Let’s reimagine a fresher, cooler, relevant retirement journey – just like you!

Ashley Rigby, ACC, Well AP, MBA, is the owner of Goldinage Retirement Coaching, based in West Hartford, CT and Brooklyn, NY. Goldinage is for professionals on the cusp of retirement, or in retirement who are dissatisfied with the current, limited narrative of what is means to retire. Through 1:1 coaching Goldinage offers a fresh perspective on retirement and dispels the myths of retirees drinking cocktails on the beach all day or playing golf 24/7.