Workplace Romance. Oh My. What To Do?

By Karen and Erica

The internet—and the mainstream press—are all agog about a recent workplace romance between two news co-anchors. It even has its own hashtag! The anchors, who are apparently co-equal, are both separated from their spouses, and allege no harassment. It does not appear that their colleagues feel disadvantaged. It does appear that they are happy together, which seems to have put public opinion on their side. Nevertheless, both have been taken off the air for the moment.

All of this brouhaha has caused us to consider, once again, what we think about workplace affairs. (Note that we do not in this post address harassment by a powerful person over a less powerful person, which we condemn. We are interested here in real romance, where both sides are acting in good faith as equals.)

Before we began working, workplace romance was unknown. Right? No, of course not, but everything about working, including this, was probably different when the number of women whose workplace power equalled that of men was tiny.

By the time we came along, many workplace romances were still meetings of unequals when it came to workplace power. And often women lost out—they had to leave if the romance surfaced. But as more women worked at careers for decades, romance became more equal, and many employers instituted rules about reporting and consequences. Some of them were a little goofy—married people were very unlikely to report affairs to their superiors. But some were critical—if a senior man and a junior woman had an affair, the woman was not inevitably the one to leave.

The fact is—when people are working together 24/7, it Is just one of the laws of physics that some of them will end up looking at each other with starry eyes. And sometimes, the result is a long term relationship, kids and all! Is that something to try to eliminate? Hopeless. To regulate? Yes. Others in the workplace should not feel uncomfortable or be disadvantaged. What about the families involved if the participants have partners? Painful for them, but is that a matter for the workplace to address?

Is it complicated to figure it all out? Yes. But so is everything about the workplace, now that women are in. We all figure out a lot of things each day. We can figure this one out too.