Happiness Training? We’re On It.
By Erica and Karen
We have noticed any number of articles recently on happiness. The underlying theme seems to be that we humans are not happy, and maybe it’s our own fault. We have forgotten how to be happy, or we have abandoned happiness conduits, like religion, and have failed to replace them with other happiness triggers.
Just as examples, the New York Times has recently posed a seven day happiness challenge, and Time magazine has offered the thought that we are not as happy as we used to be. Both—and a host of other publications—and even our doctors—offer ideas about how to deal with a lack of happiness.
Some recent articles have put forward these propositions, many of which we get:
On the negative side: don’t doom scroll and catastrophize. Wallowing in the multiple terrible stories we hear every day will just get us down, and we don’t need that.
On the positive side: Breathe. Sleep. Hang out with friends and family.
Some, like meditation and prayer, we don’t personally practice, but we see how they might help.
Some we think are complicated—basically, think about something positive in your life and train yourself to enjoy such positive moments—let some light shine into the darkness.
We hope all of these ideas are underpinned by at least some focus on possible gender differences. We note that the longest running study now includes at least some women. But it didn’t for a long time.
We have another idea. There is a lot going on today—macro and micro—that is misery-inducing. But there have always been such misery-inducing realities, and they do, and should, make us sad or worried. But one thing we know, having been around for decades, is—exactly that. We have all lived with these realities for all of our lives. At the same time, most of us have indeed enjoyed our lives, and we look forward to more living. Why? Because we have perspective. We know life is not perfect, but it is life. And life is complicated.
Could we help with the happiness deficit? We think we could. Talking to younger people about how life works, putting the bad in perspective, letting them know they will not always feel happy but that is neither a character defect nor something to fear, might be useful. We could tell them that being happy all the time is not a standard they need to meet—indeed, it would suggest a lack of thoughtfulness. Maybe younger people who simply have not lived as long as we have would be interested to hear our thoughts.
Most of us also likely have strong views about what is really important in life. For us, being kind is right up there. Doing whatever you think is important will make you happier, and being kind is well within everyone’s reach.
So in the happiness realm, as with so many others, we advocate for an intergenerational approach. We have experience to impart, and younger people have much to teach us about the twenty-first century. (Indeed, look at the growth of grandparenting classes, aimed at making sure grandparents know what to do with a baby, so they can play a role in an intergenerational family.) A mutual exchange of knowledge seems a much better approach than isolating us from one another, which is a waste of the valuable input of all generations.
Let’s move forward together, towards happiness and everything else, intergenerationally.
What ideas do you have?
