Retirement Speak. Learn It.

By Karen and Erica

Did you plan to learn a new language when you retired? Here’s one to start with!

You retired a little while ago. You’re getting the hang of it. Sleep in. Stay out late. Meet up with other retired friends for lunch. Catch up on your reading and your workouts.

What fun! You could get used to this!

Then you get invited to a cocktail party. You get dressed up, you look great, and you grab a glass of wine. Someone asks: What do you do? You say: I just retired from my amazing job.  The person who asked looks at you pityingly, and says, without meaning a word: That’s so cool. You must be so happy to be out of the rat race. And then walks away.

What happened? 

What happened is you ran into someone who thinks a retired person has suddenly become old and unimportant and possibly feeble. Why do they think that? Because there is a prevailing sentiment that retired people are old, and old means done. Overlaid upon that fallacy is the fear that you have nothing to do, and you probably want to latch on to them and take up their time talking about some nonsense. And the even bigger fear that someday, someone will think the same of them. 

What is the solution to this absurd reaction? You need to learn retirement-speak.

Here’s what to say, in the early days:

I had the best job in the world, and it came to an end. I worked very hard, and now I am taking some time to relax, to do things I could not do when I worked. I am getting a cabin on a tramp steamer, and I am going to see the world, for six months. And while I do that, I am going to think. I plan to do something wonderful, using my many talents. Just what that will be, I will decide after I consider all the options.

Obviously, don’t say exactly that, unless you really are going to take a tramp steamer, in which case, go you! But say something that tells people you are taking some time to do something specific and restful. While you do that, you will figure out which of the many ideas in your head you will focus on developing. Convey confidence that your next gig will be completely fascinating, entirely different from the career you just left, and founded on the many skills you learned while at that career. Convey excitement at the brilliant next stage that awaits you.

Not too sure you really have any idea what’s next? Of course you don’t. But you know what to do. Fake it til you make it.  

After a few months, you will be able to say something like this:

I took some time to relax, to do things I could not do when I worked. I spent some time thinking, and I have come up with the beginnings of a plan. I am very excited. I would love to have lunch with you so I can tell you about it, and maybe you can give me some pointers about how to get where I want to go even faster–though I am very busy and once again I don’t have enough time for lunch! But for you… maybe I can figure it out.

What will people think then? They will no longer be afraid. They will be envious. They will see that you are not only enjoying post-career life, you are designing an exhilarating future plan. They will want to be you. So they will want to know how you did it.

You know what we say: retire with attitude.  Do that, and even though there will be ups and downs, the trajectory will be exciting. And never forget–you have earned a fabulous next stage, and you know how to make that happen.