Retirement. First Steps.

By Karen and Erica

If you are in the early days of retirement, we hope you are relaxing, and having fun.

Here are some pointers:

First important task–rest. You are surely tired–probably more than you know. Stay up late watching trashy shows–Heated Rivalry? Or something more serious. We can’t say enough good things about Ken Burns’ The American Revolution. If you like going to bars and listening to music, do that. Sit at the counter of a local restaurant–or a bistro in Paris– and have dinner, reading and meeting new friends.

The next morning–sleep in. Make sure your bedroom is dark and quiet. Change what has likely been your approach to early mornings. Rise after 9, have a leisurely coffee while you read the paper–or a novel, if you can’t bear the news. If you have a sunny space, or a garden, sit there and listen to the world, and the birds, awake. This may take work. You will be uneasy if you are not up at 5, and doing productive things. Remember. Your job right now is to rest. You need rest to make the next steps fantastic. 

Say yes to things you never had time to say yes to while you worked.

• Take a class about something new–something you know nothing about but wish you did.
• Make a list of other things you have always wanted to do, no matter how outlandish. Do some of them.
• Get some spa treatments.
• Take a little trip–or a big one.
• If anyone invites you to a drink or a coffee or the theater or lunch–say yes.

Spend a fair amount of time doing nothing.Try really hard to overcome the feeling that you are being unproductive. You are actually being very productive. Your mind is preparing for the next third of your life.

Say no to some things–invitations to do chores because you are no longer part of the working world. You will be surprised how many people will say: I’ll bet you are looking for stuff to do. I could really use some help picking up the laundry/kids/babysitting/party planning. A nonprofit you revere may tell you it could really use someone to do some grunt work that you have no interest in doing. Just say no. You will feel bad–you always agree to do what people ask you to do. But not now. Until you decide what you really want to do, be nice but make no commitments longer than a few hours.

You may feel that your identity and value are compromised. Who are you now? Are you still relevant? If you don’t get a paycheck are you still valuable to society? Don’t panic. We all go through that self-doubt. You will soon confirm for yourself that you are the same accomplished woman you were the day before you retired. Others will soon see it as well.  

You will need company, because you will want to talk too someone about your feelings.  Creating community right after you retire is difficult. But you have resources. For starters, look to Lustre, where there are many members who felt as you feel and who came out the other end. Form a group in your community. Or a nationwide group focused on a subject matter you would like to discuss with other members. 

Other challenges will come soon enough, too, and they require work. They are all part of the process of retirement–a series of passages that you have to go through to get to the other side.

• Your pace will slow down, quickly, but briefly. That has good and bad aspects.
• You will mourn the loss of your job. You will miss your work community. You will miss the structure your career gave you. You will miss purpose. 
• You will feel like you are in a fog. You will have no idea where you are going, or where you will end up.
• Others may treat you like you are invisible. That will make you sad, and mad.
• Your family might seem worried. That will worry you.

All of this will pass, and while you are going through the process your mind will be starting to focus on what you might want to do next. You will realize you are still yourself, you have an amazing foundation upon which to build something new, and you will start to believe that post-career life will be splendid.

The world will still be there when you are ready to take on the next opportunity. For now, rest.