Did Retiring Make You Invisible? No. Just Unseen.

By Erica and Karen

Once we retired, we could no longer be seen. That made us mad, so we asked—why? Apparently it was because retirement turned us old, overnight, and that meant we were invisible.

Older men are different. They can still be seen after they retire, they are expected to have money, and they are apparently still able to do whatever they used to do. Somehow they don’t get old for decades. They might even be seen as sexy. Retired women, on the other hand, are seldom expected to be wealthy, or effective, let alone sexy. They are often seen as needy, and dowdy, and frail.

Obviously, this picture of retired or older women is absurd. Women who have had long careers are in the prime of their lives after they retire. Many are quite wealthy, fit and energetic. Many want purpose and continuing connection with the wider world. Seeing them as done is seeing them through a glass darkly. So dark you cannot see at all. And because they are not seen for who they are, their opportunities are limited.

This is not the first time that age has created a barrier. Early in our working lives, many of us were also unseen. To our co-workers we were cute young women who were playing at working while we waited to meet Mr. Right. Once we had met him, we would marry and have children and fall off the radar forever. Except of course that’s not who we were or what we wanted. We were determined to have careers, and our own money, and agency over our own lives.

We changed that picture. We fought to enter the workforce, and to stay in the workforce. We worked until we retired—the first very large group of women to do so. And once people understood who we were—once they could see us—they accepted our presence, and all kinds of accommodations were made—stylish professional clothes, extended supermarket hours, equal-sized womens’ rooms. But it did not happen overnight.

Now that we are retiring, age continues to mark us. Once again we are unseen, hidden by inauthentic images of older women invented by prevailing culture. So we need to do what we did decades ago. Put ourselves on the map. Get out there, looking good, doing purposeful things, having fun. Showing off who we really are.

When we become visible as a new force in the world, the world will open up for us. We will have opportunities, and everyone else will have our experience and judgment.

Sound like a plan?