We Are Not Invisible. Better Keep An Eye On Us.

by Erica and Karen

Invisible.

We have heard from many, many women that after they retire they feel invisible.

We felt invisible too. No-one seemed to see us—as we walked down the street, or ordered a drink, or asked a question. Since we looked exactly the same as we had the day before, we wondered how we had become so spectral overnight.

After we thought about it for a while we concluded that the invisibility arose from two facts. First, retired people are no longer young, and second, they no longer have jobs. A professional woman who retires is double whammied. No longer young means no longer sexy, and no job means no longer valuable. Add to that the fact that retired career women were few and far between until fairly recently, and you have a bad case of disappearance.

Invisibility for women brought on by age is a consequence of two false assumptions: that a woman’s value is related to her attractiveness, and that in turn is linked to her age. Invisibility associated with employment is linked to the fact that everyone is defined by her or his job. Without a job, no matter your age or sex, you are irrelevant and therefore invisible. A retired person is by definition without a job, so she or he is invisible. (Odd, perhaps, since such people might be expected to be most visible, as they actually know what they are doing and could impart that knowledge to those who don’t. But we digress.)

None of this makes sense in the twenty first century.

This is not a zero sum game. Nor is it a competition. Young women are attractive. But so are women who are older. Young women have value apart from their youthful appearance and fertility, and older women are valuable because they are confident and knowledgeable. Luckily, the societal focus on youth is not hardwired. It was just socially convenient when men had more power and money than women. That day is fast passing. Soon, it will be socially convenient to treat older women as the resources we are.

And, whether we are employed or not, older women are critical economic actors, precisely because we had jobs. Our experience is valuable, and we want to use it to help younger people get ahead. As a cohort, we have amassed wealth. We know we can’t take it with us. We want to spend it, on purpose and fun. And we have plenty of time for that.

Some people think invisibility is somehow appropriate, even a positive, for people our age. They posit that this diminished status can sustain and inform—rather than limit—our lives. That a good book, a piece of homemade pie or a call from a friend should suffice to satisfy us. That sounds a lot like the assumption that since we want to withdraw from the world anyway, we might as well embrace the invisibility that comes from withdrawal.

Why on earth would we do that? We’re at the top of our game. We love being in the world. We are not going to drop out and give up. On the contrary, we are leaders. The future is female, says the author of The Longevity Economy and director of the MIT Age Lab. That female future starts with us.

People who can’t see us better open their eyes.